Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

I loved the first one but this sequel is like someone trying to make a fart to be funny who ends up shitting himself.
There are a few funny scenes but they get lost between all the boring ones and Steve Carrel going full retard. Damn don’t ever go full retard bro. Such cringe…

The best part is the final battle (copied from the first one) because of that Minotaur who earns the movie one extra goose feet by himself.

Not good Will Ferrel

2 goose feet

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venice 70 – fastgoose reviews the 2013 festival movies – part 3 (the end)

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Hello, this is the third and last part of fastgoose reviewing the movies of the Venice film festival. You can find the first part here and the second part here.

KELLY REICHARDT – NIGHT MOVES

Quite boring and useless crime and punishment story about some kids blowing up a dam to save nature or something then feeling sorry about it. Fuck these environmental kids I hate them. Everything goes exactly how you expect it to go. There are really neat shots and color schemes but that’s about it. It’s all very cold and has not much to say. Terrorism is bad, don’t do it kids. yawn.

GIANFRANCO ROSI – SACRO GRA

The winner of the golden lion prize (a prize nobody cares about since the introduction of the golden goose) is a nice documentary about some folkloric people living in the suburbs of rome. Novelty effect, characters, old people are simple but cute etc. Bonus point: there is a guy with the beard who is absolutely brilliant. Now I seriously want a spin-off  based on him. It won the lion prize because it’s an italian movie. Italian movies must win from time to time, with all the taxpayer money spent to organize this circus every year.

MING-LIANG TSAI – JIAOYOU (STRAY DOGS)

This movie is oddly fascinating while at the same time being unbearable. I don’t remember anything of the plot, probably there isn’t even one. What there are for sure are long still images of people staring at things for a long time. The images are mesmerizing at times, at other times makes you want to change movie. Overall I have mixed feelings. Surely the work of a talented director and great cinematography but also resenting visual torture and being way too obsessed with filming people peeing. Seriously what was all that peeing? Gross.

——————FUORI CONCORSO———————–

ALFONSO CUARÓN – GRAVITY

A space movie where this bitch is lost in space and has to come back. The most predictable and unoriginal story of all time shot in the best 3d I’ve seen so far. Cuaron’s camera lovingly (and erotically) dances around Bullock’s body producing memorable and immersive images that make you want to float around space. Is this enough to make it a great movie? no. There is never a feeling of suspense, you know exactly what is going to happen at all time. The Avatar of 2013. Senor Cuaron por favor use your talent for good.

STEVEN KNIGHT – LOCKE

A monologue of a guy in a car calling people and sorting his life in one night. This movie is pretty good for how modest it is. But it’s really modest: a guy talking about cement in a car. Nice ok but is no miracle. And I’d rather do something else than hearing a guy in a car talk about cement.

GREG MCLEAN – WOLF CREEK 2

Don’t worry if you didn’t see Wolf Creek 1, it won’t matter. This Australian horror outback slasher is an epic cocktail of brutal torture and kangaroos. It’s exciting and is as scary as hilarious turning out to be one of my favorite movies of the festival. First of all because i fucking hate backpackers and i enjoy watching them die but mostly thanks to John Jarratt being a magnetic beautiful psycho motherfucker and to the brilliant writing and directing of Greg Mclean. Put some shrimps on the barbie, get a box of goon, then turn on wolf creek 2 and get ready for some real fun. You will be singing “tie me kangaroo down sport” for a long time afterwards. Mate.

PAUL SCHRADER – THE CANYONS

This movie it was made just to say it was made. Hey, we made a movie founded on kickstarter. Hey, for our main actress we chose crazy ass and unreliable drug addict Lindsay Lohan (actually pretty good here). Hey, for main actor we chose a porn actor James Deen (actually pretty bad here). Hey look how cool we are, we don’t give a fuck about Hollywood. We put boobs and sex so its even more artistic and edgy.
Well that’s about it, the actual movie is sloppy and really uninteresting. The boobs were great though.

ETTORE SCOLA – CHE STRANO CHIAMARSI FEDERICO – SCOLA RACCONTA FELLINI 

This movie about the great master Fellini is told by a friend of him, Scola, trying to make a homage to his friend. The result however is a low level attempt at recreating the baroque atmospheres of Fellini resulting in a lousy imitation. To top that, most of the movie is spent telling jokes that maybe were funny 50 years ago but made me want to throw up. I cringe when I imagine Scola reading the script and congratulating himself for how funny these jokes still are. Even the movie clips are badly edited. I wish someone makes a decent documentary about Fellini. I also wish getting a job was as easy as it was at their times, these guys literally just walked into a newspaper and the director receive them then hire them on the spot.

SION SONO – JIGOKU DE NAZE WARUI (WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL?)

This one right here is another one of the good movies I would save from the gondola wreck. A group of amateur film-makers meets a yakuza boss who wants to produce a movie and end up working with them. This hilarious, energetic and fresh movie is a love letter to home made cinema and a great comedy served in over the top japanese sauce and with the convoluted plot sion can deliver. I won’t spoil too much the plot but next to Wolf Creek 2, the most fun I had this year. I am a Sionist sometimes.

TI WEST – THE SACRAMENT

I thought it was watching a Vice documentary for a while then I realized is actually directed by Ti West and is a horror flick. The fact I was fooled for a bit then I was like oh god, make it stop means it’s a pretty good horror movie. I had to look away so beware if you are a girl don’t watch this movie. The most horrible thing however was not the abuse and brutal murder of innocents but the italian subtitles: way to go guys. Google translator would have made a better job (stuff like addetto alla droga for drug addict, donna pregnante for pregnant girl etc etc).

GIA COPPOLA – PALO ALTO

Another movie made by James Franco and adapted from a book written by James Franco and directed by another Coppola. This movie made me sad because is about beautiful white privileged teenagers living adolescence. The reckless, the wild youth. The parties, the sex, the feelings, the cars. All things that I never had because I’m not a fucking Coppola living in California. My adolescence was mainly studying or playing video games alone or watching video cd quality asian movies in a dark room. That and dreaming of being like the teens of this movie.
Or maybe I’m just sad because some Coppola is able to capture all those feelings and put them in a movie and it doesn’t matter if you never were the cool guy having sex or drugs or parties, these are just details, you still miss the energy and insecurity of adolescence.

BRUCE LABRUCE – GERONTOPHILIA

Last movie, gimme a break. Ashton kutcher’s catatonic secret brother likes to fuck old men. Shot like a porn movie (not for explicit material but for the cheesy camera movements) it fortunately has a few refreshingly witty lines and a nice sountrack. Watchable novelty movie with potential at lgbt festivals.

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venice 70 – fastgoose reviews the 2013 festival movies – part 2

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Hello, this is the second part with some more movie reviews from the venice film festival. You can find the first part here.

 

PHILIPPE GARREL – LA JALOUSIE

A french movie with french people wearing black turtlenecks and smoking cigarettes while looking angry and having love affairs. uh la la we are so french. The grainy black and white cinematography looked great. That’s about it.

TERRY GILLIAM – THE ZERO THEOREM

I am sincerely fascinated by Terry Gilliam because he is a total imbecile. Gilliam keeps making one shitty film after the other, every time surprised by how audiences don’t understand his “visionary” “artistic” “genius”. What he actually makes this time is another sci-fi movie that would have been outdated 30 years ago and is complete crap despite the great actors. Gilliam wake up ffs, it’s not the 1980s anymore, you cannot make a movie like this in 2013 with a man oppressed by gibberish computers and the system etc. The only person who doesn’t understand what’s going is you. But what is fascinating me is that he won’t stop making awful movies. He will try again and again and keep failing while thinking he is making some sort of visionary art. Gilliam is the true Quixote and somehow his failures are kinda beautiful.

AMOS GITAI – ANA ARABIA

The entire movie is one continuous shot of a journalist interviewing old people about some Israeli stories nobody could care about. Not the worse movie but the only movie I walked out of. It’s just useless and the main actress (always in the scene) was even pretty bad, I hope at least gitai had sex with her. A movie made to say: “Hey I made a movie in a single shot, like Hitchcock.” Yeah, right.

JONATHAN GLAZER – UNDER THE SKIN

As usual, the movies who at a movie festival dare to abandon the trite bourgeois blockbuster road get buried in laughter and boos. It’s a good sign. I wouldn’t want to make movies for these frightened festival-attending sheep anyways and neither does Glazer. As I wrote in a twit: “Under the skin is a compelling piece of intriguing, unsettling, visually stunning video-art with a sublime Scarlet.”

Not a traditional movie but more of a contemporary video experience that will suck you in its eerie, silky dark fluids. Sure it’s not flawless but give me this over that philomena crap any day. Oh, and Scarlet hasn’t been so magnetically beautiful and great since lost in translation. Silver goose.

DAVID GORDON GREEN – JOE

This is a movie starring Nic Cage aka THE ONE TRUE GOD NICOLAS CAGE. I rate it 5 goose feet by default. ALL PRAISE THE NIC CAGE. He is the best actor in the universe and here he proves it by having a beard and making the cool face. FUCK YEAH NICOLAS CAGE. Cage aside this movie is crap, wannabe rough american violence but seriously, pretty lame. I mean, an alcoholic hobo with his hair always clean? come on guys..

PHILIP GRÖNING – DIE FRAU DES POLIZISTEN

This is the best movie I’ve seen in the competition and probably in the whole year. If I was the master jury guy this would be THE GOLDEN GOOSE WINNER (fuck lions. geese shit on lions, well, on everything really). A photogenic German family in a small town living the apparent perfect life but alternating intimate moments to a spiral of domestic abuse and submission. All narrated through a series of unrelated chapters of various lengths (they can be even a few seconds) and calling for the viewer to connect the dots. Unlike the cold and fake exploitation Greek film, Groning paints with his chapters a vivid image that hits really close to what happens in the real world in a real abusive love relationship. Consider that Groning makes you follow attentively 3 hours of unrelated, unclear, chapters and is able to beautifully film this devastating tale, able to set a mood with just a few second shot of a forest or a fox wandering in a street at night. A fantastic movie that you must see.

PETER LANDESMAN – PARKLAND

A totally useless movie trying to beat some more the dead JFK horse. The only potential to be interesting given by focus on the video recording is also wasted, with every character already knowing the importance of the tape all along and not even slightly surprised when it gets viral. Terrible script made of people telling each other how shocked they are. Generic useless characters I already forgot. Awful acting to top it off. The film can be well described by the scene where guy with the glasses is looking at his tape and thinking “I wish i never took that footage”. We all hope the director feels the same way.

HAYAO MIYAZAKI – KAZE TACHINU

It is not fair for a movie released over 2 months before to be in the competition. It’s a marketing stunt in hope of some posthumous prize that is not needed and therefore i would have never considered it for the golden goose prize. Ok, this said, the movie is huge.
Away for once from fantastic worlds and younger targets (but not from the sky) Myiazaki narrates a romantic tale of love, passion and hard work.
The proud and relentless pursuit of perfection is something that is in the Japanese culture, if you want another example you can watch the documentary “Jiro dreams of sushi” about the 85 year old sushi master who still spends each day in a kitchen perfecting his visions of sushi.
The Jiro of the wind rises instead, dedicates his life to aircraft engineering. A life spent not in the sky but studying countless hours at the drawing board, Jiro could see his planes fly only in dreams. His planes would be used for war (he designed the revolutionary model zero in 1940, later the plane used in kamikaze operations) but far from glorifying a weapon producer, the movie shows us his enthusiastic passion and human story.
The wind rises is also an autobiographical statement from Hayao Miyazaki, another man obsessed by planes, another man who spent his life in a studio drawing his dreams (if you have the chance to visit the delightful Giburi museum in Mitaka you would see how much study there is behind every ghibli frame – in case you didn’t notice yet) and who truly loves his work: this is his last work.
Add to all of this the lusciously detailed drawings of the Giburi studio, the masterful animation (just think of that earthquake scene), another score by the genius Joe Hisaishi, a heart-breaking melodramatic love story and you’ll get this great movie.
Despite being set in historical events and not in a fantastic world, Miyazaki once again makes us dream. Much like Jiro, he is so enthusiastic about planes that not only he represents his passion in a movie but he is the kind of person that is able to magically make you share it and understand it for a couple of hours. Who cares about planes normally right? Just get me some leg room and none of those fucking babies sitting next to me. No. when you are watching his movies it’s different, planes are not just objects. You get it somehow. The poetry of flight, the love, all of it. And it’s beautiful and moving and makes you want to be a pilot too and fly above everything in the rising wind.
Too bad some guy started chopping onions inside the cinema. Me? no.. I wasn’t crying lol.. Oh that? it has been raining on my face.. for a few hours after the movie.. yep, that was totally it…
The farewell masterpiece of the one of the greatest artists alive.

ERROL MORRIS – THE UNKNOWN KNOWN

A documentary-interview with Donald Rumsfield that probably had the starting intent of pinning against a wall this politician confronting him with facts and quotes from his memos to show his role in the recent USA invasions and conflicts and how bad he was. Well, the result is rather different: Rumsfield shows us what it means to be a great politician. Aside from moral judgments that are apparently irrelevant in politics. Faced with facts he uses carefully chosen words as weapons coming out smiling more than before. Similarly to politics, there are no truths in this movie, just words, a smile and a face to go with it. And observing this master at work is fascinating, so much that it makes a 100 minute interview and a few pictures become an entertaining and interesting movie. And despite the fact that nothing is discovered against him.

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venice 70 – fastgoose reviews the 2013 festival movies – Part 1

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writing a blog is like taking a dump: it smells bad and if you stop doing it for a long time is hard. But it seems like you have to do it. So here’s my attempt to another blog post after almost one year spent studying gorillas in the wild.

It is going to be slightly about movies.

So I’ve been to Venice this year with the only objective of not getting sick. I got sick.

I got mononucleosis. Which i guess it’s a pretty cool virus, despite the side effect of making you a weak vegetable for two months. It’s kinda cool cause now people will think that I kissed someone and I’m such a pimp. Which totally happened. In my mind. And I definitely didn’t get this virus from some kid using my cup on the beach.

So, as I mentioned, 3 months ago as soon as I returned from the ISS I went to venice and watched a bunch of movies to get an overview of the state of cinema.

Where is highbrow cinema going at the moment then?

If last year the thin red line of the competition was showing tons of sex (please don’t even think about the fact it was the 69th edition) this year I noticed a different trend: abuse. Most films are about people abusing/getting abused in various ways:  psychological abuse, rape, murders, amputations, all sorts of abuse to satisfy the educated viewer’s morbid desires. Is this the new trend in artistic cinema? Is Cannes streets behind giving his highest prize to a nonsense 3-hour explicit lesbo porn? Why do I always get sick at movie festivals?

We let the reader draw his conclusions. Meanwhile I already divulged my opinions through a series of 140 character statements so I’m not going to add too much “film critic” to that overly exhaustive body of maybe 4-5 half assed twits. So here is what i remember about a bunch of movies I’ve seen a really long time ago in alphabetical order.

MERZAK ALLOUACHE – ES-STOUH (LES TERRASSES)

A film with poor people whose life revolves around shared terraces. We get it, they are desperate but if I recall correctly there’s a bunch of stories and they all end up in horrible death. That’s way too much horrible death. I don’t really remember much, just that I wanted to punch some annoying radical chic kids playing ukulele on a roof. And that every story ends up in tragic death.

GIANNI AMELIO – L’INTREPIDO

Definitely the worse movie I’ve seen this year. Terrible story of a hard working man keeping his smile and enthusiasm for dirty work while young people are chasing bullshit lazy artistic jobs full of excuses and fake problems like depression (as he says “when I feel sad I just smile instead, so easy” or something like that). To further prove the point that young people are pathetic and useless they hired this Livia Rossi, who was absolutely awful and should really consider working in a mine instead of acting so nobody could ever see her. It’s also an obnoxious location showcase of Milano, in a boring presentation of various jobs the guy does. Fuck this moralistic shit and everyone who did this.

ALEXANDROS AVRANAS – MISS VIOLENCE

This thing about an old man abusing his family and being the pimp of his sex slave daughters won some prize but really is nothing impressive. The thing that bugged me the most was “the shocking scene” where he was having the girl raped by three men without condoms ejaculating inside her one after the other. like how gross is that? who would pay top dollars to put his dick inside a cum dripping hole? Then he complains he gets only a 50 because she doesn’t smile. Dude when your assets get STDs what will you do? How stupid is that?
Anyways, the movie is just a cold and bullshitty operation with neat photography and serious faces to pretend the movie is so real and so shocking and omg greece the crysis. But in truth it’s just too full of himself. People impressed by this (the jury who gave this movie a prize) are like the rich couple of breaking bad when Walt goes there with the laser pointer: they have no idea about what they are seeing and they got scared by a couple of tricks while the real movies end up without the prize. whatever man. we don’t care.

JOHN CURRAN – TRACKS

From a real story: a spoiled bitch decided to cross the desert with camels for no reason. Something like into the wild with camels, this movie really doesn’t have anything to say. Endless shots of landscapes and sunrises and camels in australia. We never even see the bitch appear in serious danger or trouble once. Then she reaches the sea and swims with her camels and everyone is happy. Meh. Too bad for Adam from girls, he’s cool. It was also very important for the movie to show her hairy armpits at all times.

EMMA DANTE – VIA CASTELLANA BANDIERA

This movie is about two women trying to pass through a street with their cars stuck fronting each other. like for the whole movie. The women just stay there in a street that looks large enough for two cars but just wait days for the other one to back off. I guess is some sort of metaphor with a deeper meaning i didn’t get. The message is that women are terrible drivers even if they are lesbians. I guess.

XAVIER DOLAN – TOM À LA FERME

This is the first interesting movie of the list. A guy (Dolan) goes to the funeral of his lover, getting involved with his creepy abusive brother.  The movie looks great in its gritty and pale cinematography and Dolan is able to bring the viewer with him on his dangerous and twisted path. On a side note I can’t stop thinking of this whenever i see the name dolan.

JAMES FRANCO – CHILD OF GOD

James Franco is hard to take seriously, he does hundreds of things, acting, writing, directing and all with that eye-squinting shitface. This movie starts really bad. I cant stand the obnoxious hand held camera showing a crazy person pooping and running around like a retard for over an hour in order to create “realism”. After a while however, the movie has a few interesting and even surprisingly romantic moments. On a side note it made me realize how much worse my social life is compared to that guy’s. I wish I talked to that many girls.

STEPHEN FREARS – PHILOMENA

Cheered by an audience ovation this movie is smart operation to get money from middle aged women in search of good feelings. Hi mom. Philomena is just a reassuring movie that dares nothing and exploits a little bit of everything: tears, laughter, drama, social criticism, religion etc. Definitely not my cup of tea, the kind of textbook movie who wins oscars exactly like that mediocre argo crap we had last year. Moreover, the movie makes fun of this old lady looking for her son but what at times is witty (the first time she tells the book) gets too heavy and annoying in many other cases (watching big mama for example) exactly like the argo fuck yourself joke in that other movie.

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The state of the goose – Ocalassificone 2012

Cari lettori e fedeli seguaci di fastgoose,

il futuro e’ misterioso e inspiegabile come il linguaggio dei gatti. Come sapete, il mio blog da’ fastidio a molti nell’industria cinematografica mondiale. Specialmente a quelli che amano la grammatica. Per di più il governo italiano ha recentemente tagliato i finanziamenti ai blogger per darli ai bambini affamati e ai malati gravi. questo paese veramente non so dove andra’ a finire.

Insomma, per farla breve, vista la crisi dei valori anche io oggi inizio un lavoro vero. Guardero’ ancora film? Scrivero’ ancora recensioni? riusciro’ a fare il bucato? interrogativi che tutti voi vi starete facendo.

Ebbene, la risposta è miao. per ora ringrazio tutti voi per quello che e’ fast goose oggi. Dopo 5 internet-anni dalla sua apertura (3 mesi irl) fastgoose e’ stato votato dai giovani e dall’unione rabbini laici il miglior sito di cinema della storia (abbiamo finalmente superato il sito di spacejam nei sondaggi). Vorrei ringraziarvi perche’ questo e’ stato possibile solo grazie a voi amici. Qui dunque chiudo questo ciclo che proclamo 2012-the fast goose rises e lascio aperta la porta al sequel con la mia annuale mega-omnia-encarta95-ocalassifica 2012 scritta in collaborazione con dj goose4life in cui metto tutti e 10 i film che ho visto in un anno e altre amenità che hanno attirato la mia attenzione come monetine luccicanti. E prima di dirvi arrivederci alla prossima, un’ultima cosa ma la più importante è che secondo me toh, una monetina! Qui bella. Qui

5 dischi

  • Father John Misty – Fear Fun
  • Max de Bernardi & Dario Polerini – Ukeology
  • Purity ring – Shrines
  • Tame impala – Lonerism
  • Passion pit – Gossamer

3 canzoni

3 tv show

  • adventure time
  • girls
  • louie

e last but not least

top 10 film

  1. Cabin  in the woods
  2. Moonrise kingdom
  3. The master
  4. Life of Pi
  5. Holy motors
  6. Iron sky
  7. The we and the I
  8. Paradies: liebe + Paradies: glaube
  9. Chronicle
  10. Ted

bonus: 2 animazioni

  • children who chase voices from deep below
  • paranorman

Note – faq

– Ma fastgoose, mancando dei film importanti qua, cosa faccio? sono certo di non aver visto un bel po di roba. molti ce li ho qua da vedere, altri tipo django li ho visti nel 2013 e per onesta’ non li metto dentro, altri non ce li ho e basta (la caccia anyone?), altri li ho visti e non li ho reputati degni della mia ocalassifica. pero ecco magari faro’ degli update intanto sollecitatemi pure le mie mancanze nei commenti con toni da stadio.

– Ma fastgoose, perche’ ci sono zero libri? Perche’ sono semi analfabeta e leggo solo le barzellette sul cucciolone.

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Ted – il film del tizio dei griffin con un orsetto parlante (di Seth MacFarlane)

Al di la’ del titolo, che mi ricorda quelle stupide e inutili conferenze a pagamento che piacciono ai social media strategist (persone che come curriculum sanno usare twitter e condividono su facebook i disegni del cervello diviso a meta’ con da una parte creativita’ e colori e dall’altra grigio e razionalita’) non avevo dato una cicca di fiducia all’opera prima di Seth. Certo, i Griffin erano il mio cartone preferito quando li guardavo la sera su italia uno. ma tipo 10 anni fa. e il fatto di aver smesso di seguirlo da anni (alla lunga il giochino non regge, specie se aggiunti i vari penosi spinoff) e la sottile differenza che passa tra un cartone animato di 20 minuti fatto di gag demenziali random e un film compiuto con una trama eccetera mi aveva fatto affrontare questo film come di solito affronto sailing dj (vedi nota).

non questo ted

Invece Ted e’ un film vero, ed e’ anche veramente divertente. Seth pur spargendo fantastico umorismo scorretto e citazionista come ai bei tempi non prende mai in giro una cosa: i meccanismi del suo stesso film. Ovvero il classico film dei due amiconi immaturi in cui poi uno si fidanza con una stronza ingrata che somiglia a mila kunis e cerca di controllarlo e trasformarlo in un “adulto” e gli dice: o lui o me e poi litigano e poi fanno pace. Ecco Seth non deride i cliche’ holliwoodiani, o flash gordon, o la forza dei desideri dei bambini. Anzi li prende estremamente sul serio e ci si accosta con una tenerezza e un sentimentalismo insospettabili facendo un film che poi e’ anche divertentissimo.

4 zampette

note

– gli attori manco mi piacciono

– inizialmente volevo mettere questa immagine ma poi ho pensato no va be’ non esageriamo, siamo sotto natale, gia’ soffrirete abbastanza per quello. Pero’ ecco, se volete farvi del male ulteriore cliccate su quelle parole sottolineate e pensate alla carriera di social media strategist.

– ovviamente la mia scena preferita è quella dell’oca. Oh, james franco. Fantastico.

sailing dj e’ un programma prodotto da Luca Silvestri in cui ci sono due zoccole su una barca a ibiza che si divertono un sacco (tipo si tuffano o bevono qualcosa) intervallate da pubblicita’ di barche e pessima musica. molto divertente e ottimo quando sei da qualcuno che ha sky a mangiare la pizza e non si sa mai cosa guardare (srsly sky sucks).

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Premium Rush – l’emozionante (not) mondo delle bici a scatto fisso (di David Koepp)

Avete presente quelle teste di cazzo con le bici a scatto fisso che passano col rosso e vanno sui marciapiedi? Esiste qualcosa di piu’ insopportabile di questi idioti? non lo so, di certo questo film non sembra aiutarmi a trovare una risposta. Ma eccovi il trailer di premium rush:

Praticamente sono 90 minuti di Joseph Gordon-Levitt che pedala sulla sua bici scatto fisso per consegnare una busta inseguito dal cattivo-che-vuole-fermarlo; alternati a product placement di smartphone con fastidiose e inutili proiezioni 3d di un’app mappe. L’inseguimento e’ talmente lungo che sembra di guardare il giro d’Italia piu’ che una lotta per la sopravvivenza. Il ritmo viene spezzato ancora di piu’ da continui flashback estremamente noiosi e ridondanti (va bene che il target sono quelli che vanno in giro sulle fixie (non dei geni) pero’ alla terza volta che fai vedere la stessa scena da un pdv leggermente diverso lo avranno capito anche le femmine che: lettera->importante / poliziotto->cattivo).
Il film cerca anche di far passare la bizzarra idea che avere dei freni su una bici sia pericoloso.

Joseph Gordon-Lewitt (in maglia bianca) in una scena del film

Joseph Gordon-Lewitt (in maglia bianca) in una scena del film

Insomma l’unica cosa che mi ha fatto arrivare alla fine di questi 90 minuti e’ stata la flebile speranza che morissero tutti in un incidente. invece no. non succede niente.

2 zampette

note

– nota positiva, l’interpretazione di Michael Shannon come poliziotto cattivo (anche se il personaggio e’ estramente stupido, srsly chi e’ che pensa di spennare i cinesi a domino?). divertenti anche le assurde proiezioni del futuro agli incroci nella mente di JGL che in un istante visualizza 3 possibili outcome in cui muore in modo divertete e poi sceglie il quarto. che di solito e’ andare dritto.

– la scena migliore e’ quando la tipa dice “mi serve un flash mob 5 minuti fa” e iniziano a telefonare a tutti i ciclisti che ovviamente aspettano le telefonate seduti alla loro scrivania e poi si trovano tutti in una strada e spintonano un po’ un tizio. lol

– gli do 2 zampette perche’ il sistema di votazione cinematografica imparziale zampetta 2.0 e’ ancora in beta e devo calibrarlo. cmq 2 su 5 non e’ buono.

– cmq JGL mi piace un sacco e spero che si metta con zoozoo perche’ sono troppo carini insieme.

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